Hello those few who read this. (I don't blame you for not, it's pretty much just a bitch fest) The main reason I'm posting after what seems like (and most likely has been) forever is because I'm sick of checking my page and seeing the list of sterotypes. It's almost been up for a YEAR! And that is mildly(majorly) pathetic. I don't post here much mainly because I've turned my livejournal account into a massive pity party. *sigh*

Second reason for posting is just to get some jumble out of my mind. Third is that it's two in the morning, I've run out of yaoi fluff to write (most of which will never see the light of day) and I've got nothing better to do. Fourth is I like to clutter your inboxes >

Nothing has honestly happened in this year aside from becoming another year older, saying good-bye to old friends and hello to new, deciding "hey, two AP classes and volleyball, I can totally keep my sanity", and letting myself throw myself under the bus. I have also recently become helplessly addicted to fluff...among other things. Moving on. Mostly in this year things have yet again managed to complicate themselves mostly due to my own stupidity and failure to realize what's going on around me.

The only real thing that could possibly need elaboration is the throwing myself under the bus. Recently I discovered I like girls, plain and simple. However; I've decided also not to give up on the male populous completely because I have met guys who aren't complete retards. That isn't throwing myself under the bus, that was pushing me out of the way of the on coming car into the path of said bus. -_- Anywho, I really like a female friend from summer camp. She's smart, pretty, social, funny, happy with who she is, and so much more. I realized I liked her at camp where there were ample oppertunities to say something while instead I refused to admit liking her to myself in the fear that things would just get awkward between us I said nothing. Now I have to come up with some reason for us to hang out (she lives incredibly far away) so I can attempt to work up the guts to tell her I like her. My main problem: I'm a coward. I fear rejection, though I can't say the 'maybe she does, maybe she doesn't' mind set isn't working to well for me either. I've decided I want to tell her, just not how...or when...or where. *headdesk*

Moving on to a topic that doesn't involve self pity. Hurray! Psych, had you fooled, this one just involves repeated facepalm. So, going to catholic school while being bi and atheist I really don't have a whole lot working for me as far as the church is concerned. However; recently I have come to realize that despite the church telling you loving the other gender is wrong that a lot of people don't see it as such. For example, the rest of the volleyball team knows I'm bi, they don't care. Hell, we joke about it! (mostly Andrea, but I give her the most crap about other things) For all the intolerance I've been told people have, everyone has been generally accepting. True they could all be bashing me behind my back but we're going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they're not. So now I don't really know what to think on the matter because people I would think wouldn't be okay with it are, indeed, okay with it. (I love you friends who still love me!) Its just become one of those things where everyone warns you about majority intolerance, and the actual intolerance isn't all that large. Yes, the catholic church will most likely still try to shoot me down if I wish to marry another woman but that's a few years off still and we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Like always, I doubt any art will get posted here. If you're lucky you'll get some really random fluff because for some odd reason every time I have to think up characters for creative writing they turn out a guy/guy couple. I'm not sure why, nor is my teacher though he said I should turn them in. It's weird. Anyway, til I feel like posting or am up at an hour of the night I should not be up at, good bye~!